Don't You Think
Pat on the back... Pat on the back... Don’t you think we all deserve a pat on the back? Pat on the back... Pat on the back... Don’t you think we all deserve a pat on the back? 'Cause everyone is a winner.
Kick in the pants... Kick in the pants... Don’t you think we all deserve a kick in the pants? Kick in the pants... Kick in the pants... Don’t you think we all deserve a kick in the pants at one time or another?
Treated the same... Treated the same... Don’t you think we all ought to be treated the same? Treated the same... Treated the same... Don’t you think we all ought to be treated the same, and dare not ask one small favor?
Sharing the wealth... Sharing the wealth... Don’t you think we all ought to be sharing the wealth? Sharing the wealth... Sharing the wealth... Don’t you think we all ought to be sharing the wealth (the working man and the slacker)? Yeah
King for a day... King for a day... Don’t you think we all ought to be king for a day? King for a day... King for a day... Don’t you think we all ought to be king for a day and take the blame for world gone mad?
I Did
I don’t like conflict; try to avoid it. But there comes a time when the cause is legit. I saw it coming. Push came to shoving. I couldn’t live with myself, without doing something.
CHORUS: I’m telling you, I did. Oh no, didn’t. Tell me you didn’t. Did you really? Yes, I’m telling you, I did. Oh no, didn’t. Tell me you didn’t. Did you really? Yes, I'm telling you.
I know, right? It wasn’t like me. A little frightening, but I knew it was the right thing. So, I did it. Then right after, I heard the laughter and it felt like a disaster, but...
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You could hear a pin drop. I kid you not. My head was spinning like a Schylling top. Then I opened my mouth and the words coming out—it’s like they weren’t even mine. Now what’s that about?
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So I’m like, “Holy cow, it’s really on now." No turning back, I got my hand on the plow; breaking new ground. And it’s profound what the dirt can do, when it’s upside down.
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Well, that was yesterday. But I’m here to say: If I could do it again, would have it no other way. Now I ain’t lying; thought I was dying. But the truth is worthless unless you apply it.
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No Offense
Nice outfit …hope you don’t mind me saying that. No offense… I mean no offense. I like your smile …hope you don’t mind me saying that. No offense… I mean no offense.
Don’t want to step on anybody’s toes. Nowadays, people get their noses out of shape so very easily.
Brought sushi... hope you don't mind me doing that. No offense… I mean no offense. There's plenty. I thought I might spring for lunch, today. No offense… I mean no offense.
You seemed busy, not that you're behind. Too skinny? No, you look just fine. Yes, vegan. I know you don't eat meat.
Cool photo. I hope you don't mind me sharing that. No offense… I mean no offense. “Great person”—I hope you don't mind me posting that. No offense… I mean no offense.
Don’t take this the wrong way, please. It’s just, I thought we’d built some degree of trust. After all, you my favorite bonehead.
So Sentimental
When I take me a walk down a memory lane, I trip on the places that caused me pain, because I’m so sentimental …so sentimental. I feel a lump in my throat and I get misty eyed, because I wish I could give it another try. You see, I’m so sentimental …so sentimental. That's right.
Could be a smell, a photo, an old soundtrack... you know, it don’t take much to send me back, because I’m so sentimental …so sentimental. If you hear me muttering under my breath, I’m probably cursing some vain regret, because I’m so sentimental …so sentimental. Oh yeah.
Yeah I got stories, but don’t even ask. It hurts too much, reliving the past, because I’m so sentimental …so sentimental. They say, Surely you’ve a few bright spots in there. Well if so, call me blissfully unaware, because I’m so sentimental …so sentimental. I can't help it.
The t.v. ads are pushing them pills, but there ain't no drug that can cure my ills. I’m so sentimental …so sentimental. The weather forecast: tomorrow looks bleak. So, yesterday’s news is the world I seek. I’m so sentimental ...so sentimental. So what?
Everybody's Friend
I try to love my fellow man. But still, I get into a jam. ‘Cause when I’m playing in that key, some notes won’t live in harmony.
CHORUS: Everybody’s friend... I wanna be everybody’s friend. Everybody’s friend... I can’t be everybody’s friend.
I’ll tell you what you want to hear, never giving cause to fear. I’m only asking what you know, with no opinions of my own.
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Charming, suave and without guile: I’ll bet that I can make you smile. But if your face can’t bear to crack, I’ll give you all your money back.
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You might think me a clever lad, making everybody glad... many times as I arrive; more often when I say goodbye.
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Fist Bumpin'
Fist bumpin’ ...that's the only way greet me—good old fist bumpin’—any time you meet me. 'Cause there’s all kind of strange diseases going ‘round these days. Oh yes, there is.
Fist bumpin—when you run into an old friend—do that fist bumpin’. ‘Cause you never know where he’s been. Ain't no telling where a man has put his grubby little hands and don’t take the time to wash up.
You filthy animal...
Puddy Tat
CHORUS: I thought I saw a puddy tat. I thought I saw a puddy tat. ...don’t think I imagined that. I did. I did. I did. I saw a puddy tat!
...with shiny black locks and pretty white socks, manicured nails and a sassy little tail.
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She’s checking out my wings and likes the way I sing, I think I’ll be brave and let her in my cage.
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Now I’m staring at her eyes and I can’t believe the size. I wanna touch her fur and listen to her purr... just listen.
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Well, I gave a little peck upon her lovely neck. She went to kiss me back; that’s when everything went black.
The Future
God gave us prophecy, to help us see the future. There's less anxiety, for those who see the future.
Organ Harvest
Hey now... hey now, what you doing? What you doing with my kidney in that five-gallon bucket?
CHORUS: Quickly… somebody take me a doctor. I need a medical professional; somebody with the proper skills to put me back together.
Can you tell me... tell me, how much does it go for? Are you kidding me? It’s that much! Do I at least get a percentage?
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Hey now... You might want to have it checked out. In all fairness, I should warn you: I been struggling with UTIs.
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One thing... one more thing, before you leave me: are you carrying a business card? ‘Cause I might know someone who’s interested.
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Melt Away
Gonna be a day... everything will melt away.
...looking for the the day: everything that's wrong will melt away.
I wanna live right. I wanna do right. I wanna think right. I wanna talk right. I wanna be right. Lord Jesus, help me.
Self
Mi amigo—the monster, 'ego'—wherever we go, clamors for attention. In nomenclature: 'the carnal nature,' likes to inflate your every thought and feeling.
CHORUS: Self... selfish... selfishness... I'm so sick of self... selfish... selfishness.
...enemy of hope and health; always knocking someone else.
Who else would you serve? You're not well acquainted with anyone else. Why shouldn't the world revolve around you? Are others even real? Perhaps they're just a figment of your own imagination. You have a powerful mind, after all. As the saying goes, 'It's all about you.' You deserve more. You deserve to die!
Fear and loathing, greed and pride... never fully satisfied:
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That's It
Saw your ad on Craig's List, posing with the duck lips... 5'5" and clueless, trying to get in Show Biz. Well...
CHORUS: That's it. That's it. That's exactly what we're looking for.
Can you do the samba with a wooly llama, wearing pink pajamas, for this docudrama?
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Work it, for the camera. Show us what you're made of. Never mind the dandruff. We can Photoshop stuff.
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This is just a head shot, taken from your bae's yacht. Look like you're in deep thought, contemplating dry rot.
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Next, we shoot a night scene, advertising sun screen. Take this bowl of poutine; rub it on your blue jeans.
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Thank you, for your service. Everything was perfect. No need to be nervous... you'll be hearing from us.
That's it. That's it. Well, that's it.